I’m overweight and ugly and all I can think is how this can only be my fault. I can’t seem to keep to things, my motivation is awful and I’m lazy. I need to do more, get out more, I need to drink and smoke less and then I might be happy with myself.

I’m not supposed to have this blog.
and I’m not supposed to feel the way I do.
But I guess you’re trapping me. 

I want you to feel how I did all those months ago. The number of times you made me feel small, unimportant, that your opinion was always right. It bought me down so much, I’m half the person I was before me and you. I’m getting stronger, I’m fighting with you and I’m not letting you get your way. You’re not in charge, you’re not going to ever make me shake with the fear I’m not good enough, that I can’t be with anyone else but you. Why do you think I’m so messed up? You made me feel shit about myself and I’m slowly showing you that.

Lol this makes me want to be away from you even more so. You find out I don’t just like you and yet you argue with me? I’m pushing you away and you’re fighting back.

I don’t know what to do with myself. Eugh.